I've been staring at this reflection prompt for awhile now, and it is probably the hardest one I will have to answer. When it asks about the 'unrealistic expectations' that are placed on RAs, it eludes to an expectation being impossible, and I think that as a group of leaders, we live in this place of eternalism and invincibleness so nothing really seems unrealistic. But if I had to choose…
I think residents and administrators both want the same thing from an RA: complete transparency and disclosure. While I am a huge fan on honesty and being open and real, I understand that this job (and others like it) demands a large amount of confidentiality, and that works both ways. Not only am I uncomfortable spilling house issues to my residents/friends, I am equally unlikely to spill all for administrator-types who simply don’t need to know.
There are a few reasons why this ‘expectation’ exists, especially at Chatham. First of all, I feel like a sad humyn instinct is a desire to ‘be in the know,’ so both of these parties want to be in control of this environment and know all the juicy details. More so at Chatham, we are just a small community that can, if it chooses, thrive on drama, but I don’t intend on making that part of my job.
Resisting this gossipy temptation can be difficult in this environment especially as an RA who has access to information and resident-friends who want let in on the details. I think an understanding of the importance of confidentiality and keeping ‘backstage matters backstage’ really helps to live up to the trust of residents and administrators. And, I think it feels amazing to ‘keep secrets’ or know things that nobody else does! Who still has a childhood secret and has yet to tell?!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
The Art of Giving
I've been dwelling on this issue of asking for money as a volunteer experience for a few days now and have not come up with anything revolutionary, but: I think that when you donate time to help folks without asking for monetary compensation, you are, by definition, volunteering. So when you 'ask for money' to donate, you are volunteering time.
But let's look at this in terms of the larger social implications: if we say that satisfying our need/desire to volunteer is satisfied by giving money, then we justify the 'writing a check once a month' donation that makes it impersynal. Are there reasons why our society still needs so much volunteer-type work? Maybe this monetary giving has yet to pay off? I think we should look at the idea of altruism, which has some interesting things to say about monetary giving and ask if these concepts are reflected when we 'write the check.'
But let's look at this in terms of the larger social implications: if we say that satisfying our need/desire to volunteer is satisfied by giving money, then we justify the 'writing a check once a month' donation that makes it impersynal. Are there reasons why our society still needs so much volunteer-type work? Maybe this monetary giving has yet to pay off? I think we should look at the idea of altruism, which has some interesting things to say about monetary giving and ask if these concepts are reflected when we 'write the check.'
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Reflection 1: The Art of Failure
It has taken me a long time to realize that, as a persyn, I grow the most when I am challenged. In retrospect, I have never faced a difficult situation which did not alter who I am now. So, when looking back to the projects I have been involved in, those most rewarding and meaningful were those particularly difficult, teaching me a great deal about who I am.
Rather than choosing a few specific events out of my memory arsenal, I mentally grouped them: projects where I have been the dominant leader, projects that required a team approach, and others where I became a follower. Each offered life-lessons. Each shaped how I now handle situations. Each broadened my understanding of who I am in a very unique way.
I tend to naturally assume leadership positions, sometimes to my own detriment, and it is during these awkward times of overwhelming insecurity that I learn the most (i.e. fall flat on my face). During the summer, I had a position as one of two camp coordinators for week-long mission trips in Indianapolis – youth groups from around the country would come and stay at a church, do mission work during the day, and stay for programs at night. We ran seven consecutively. It was mayhem and completely unexplainable. It was obvious early-on that my partner was not of the ‘leader’ persuasion, so I assumed many of her jobs throughout the summer. One week, there were no volunteers, and my cocky self found it perfectly acceptable to, among other things, coordinate the food and meals, be the emcee every evening, do damage control (handle weird situations and ‘crisis’), and manage PR with our projects not to mention the day-to-day upkeep already required of my job. By the end of the week, I had strep throat and a temperature over 100. Rewarding? Yes. I doubt that my partner would have been able to handle that stress and keep ‘backstage matters backstage,’ as our employers liked to say. Energizing? Absolutely! How many times will I ever get the chance to monitor a camper who was bit by a dog, another with chronic stomach flu, drink awful cough syrup before each program, and cook spaghetti for 96 campers!!
Projects with a team theme are entirely different than those when I run the show. It requires a great deal more communication and cooperation, but is usually much less damaging to my physical health J Class projects are the easiest example, especially because there is a high likelihood (at least in my experience) that at least one member of the group will feel unwilling to do their share. Tricky relationships like this have always been difficult for me to manage – I tend to be a straight-forward individual which risks sounding like a jerk. Without the demands of having sit-downs with these folks or simply picking up the slack, I would have never learned the finesse in persuading others to do what they need to get done or the delicate approach to delegation.
Everyone has been a part of groups with a previously-designated leader who are simply in over their head. On more than one occasion, these experiences, while frustrating, have been extremely memorable on a very persynal level. I have always believed that “age” is one of the more arbitrary numbers that exists in the universe, so when placed on a team where seniority rules, I find it difficult to automatically yield respect to the oldest member of the group. In high school I was passionately involved in the debate program, and as a sophomore, placed with one of the senior debaters (a fairly big deal for a post-first year!). Our relationship was interesting in that she was said to have more skill, talent, and experience than I – it was just a learning experience for me – but I often had different (read: better) positions that were more successful. After learning that it would be unacceptable for me to outright claim the fame of our success, I learned one of the more valuable lessons of my life: humility. We became great friends throughout the season and it was encouraging for me to watch another “more qualified” individual get credit for what I knew was originally my plan. Had I thrown in the towel early, demanding a more humble partner, I would have never recognized the skill of concession.
Learning to work well with people on different projects is nothing but a trial-and-error process – falling flat on my face, potentially ruining relationships or my own heath, to gain understanding of how others work is part of the bumpy journey in leadership. I have always enjoyed the “sink or swim” approach to life, and if I never experienced nearly drowning in the pool of projects, I doubt I would be in this class.
Rather than choosing a few specific events out of my memory arsenal, I mentally grouped them: projects where I have been the dominant leader, projects that required a team approach, and others where I became a follower. Each offered life-lessons. Each shaped how I now handle situations. Each broadened my understanding of who I am in a very unique way.
I tend to naturally assume leadership positions, sometimes to my own detriment, and it is during these awkward times of overwhelming insecurity that I learn the most (i.e. fall flat on my face). During the summer, I had a position as one of two camp coordinators for week-long mission trips in Indianapolis – youth groups from around the country would come and stay at a church, do mission work during the day, and stay for programs at night. We ran seven consecutively. It was mayhem and completely unexplainable. It was obvious early-on that my partner was not of the ‘leader’ persuasion, so I assumed many of her jobs throughout the summer. One week, there were no volunteers, and my cocky self found it perfectly acceptable to, among other things, coordinate the food and meals, be the emcee every evening, do damage control (handle weird situations and ‘crisis’), and manage PR with our projects not to mention the day-to-day upkeep already required of my job. By the end of the week, I had strep throat and a temperature over 100. Rewarding? Yes. I doubt that my partner would have been able to handle that stress and keep ‘backstage matters backstage,’ as our employers liked to say. Energizing? Absolutely! How many times will I ever get the chance to monitor a camper who was bit by a dog, another with chronic stomach flu, drink awful cough syrup before each program, and cook spaghetti for 96 campers!!
Projects with a team theme are entirely different than those when I run the show. It requires a great deal more communication and cooperation, but is usually much less damaging to my physical health J Class projects are the easiest example, especially because there is a high likelihood (at least in my experience) that at least one member of the group will feel unwilling to do their share. Tricky relationships like this have always been difficult for me to manage – I tend to be a straight-forward individual which risks sounding like a jerk. Without the demands of having sit-downs with these folks or simply picking up the slack, I would have never learned the finesse in persuading others to do what they need to get done or the delicate approach to delegation.
Everyone has been a part of groups with a previously-designated leader who are simply in over their head. On more than one occasion, these experiences, while frustrating, have been extremely memorable on a very persynal level. I have always believed that “age” is one of the more arbitrary numbers that exists in the universe, so when placed on a team where seniority rules, I find it difficult to automatically yield respect to the oldest member of the group. In high school I was passionately involved in the debate program, and as a sophomore, placed with one of the senior debaters (a fairly big deal for a post-first year!). Our relationship was interesting in that she was said to have more skill, talent, and experience than I – it was just a learning experience for me – but I often had different (read: better) positions that were more successful. After learning that it would be unacceptable for me to outright claim the fame of our success, I learned one of the more valuable lessons of my life: humility. We became great friends throughout the season and it was encouraging for me to watch another “more qualified” individual get credit for what I knew was originally my plan. Had I thrown in the towel early, demanding a more humble partner, I would have never recognized the skill of concession.
Learning to work well with people on different projects is nothing but a trial-and-error process – falling flat on my face, potentially ruining relationships or my own heath, to gain understanding of how others work is part of the bumpy journey in leadership. I have always enjoyed the “sink or swim” approach to life, and if I never experienced nearly drowning in the pool of projects, I doubt I would be in this class.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Thoughts on Myself
I'm a big fan on honesty. I'm also a big fan of community. I feel like if we're all going to be in class together, heck, even existing on the same planet, we should begin by being blunt, honest, and real about some things. You all know my name. You know that I like pancakes. You know I want to change the world (to be more honest, you probably don't remember any of these things because we were all worrying about first impressions and putting our best face on. If you didn't remember these things, now you know).
For the first post, we were instructed to with few instructions. I think it would be beneficial to explain some things about our lives as they exist now. I mean, let's save some time getting through the awkward 'getting to know one another' stage and be authentic. In my life right now...
1. I'm seriously contemplating the plan for the rest of my life. I've always assumed this to be a futile move on my part, because everytime I seem to get things straight in my head, your higher power of choice (for my purposes, I'll call her God) screws them up. I'm head over heels in love with Africa, and have unexplainably been so for years. I'm going this summer (Uganda is what they're telling me) and because I am graduating in three semesters, am thinking about getting a pilots license. I could fly rich safari goers all over the place a few months a year and save enough to sustain on an NGOs budget for the rest of the time. I think I'm in love with this plan.
2. Chatham is rocking my world. I'm a transfer, and came here with a purpose, and looked forward to coming back from break. I like what Chatham allows me to do - to become - but my family is pretty large and I am the first to leave, making it difficult to explain my reasons for branching beyond our Kansas town. I may have just said goodbye to my grandma for the last time (this is what folks tell me) and swallowing that is going to take some time.
3. I'm reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X right now. While I'm a large fan of nonfiction, I don't remember ever reading an autobiography before, and it is simply unlike anything I've ever read. I struggle every morning with being white, with having power I did not earn nor deserve, with cashing in on the mistreatment of others with skin of a different color. Malcolm is really putting these things into perspective. If you have yet to read it, do so. If you have, let's talk. I'm intrigued and only a little over halfway done.
Like I said before, I'm a big fan on honesty, and welcome more than anything in the world criticism, comments, and input on these blogs. While I doubt individuals beyond class will ever read such things, I think it's a great way to engage a discussion about potentially interesting topics. Viva la Discussion!
For the first post, we were instructed to with few instructions. I think it would be beneficial to explain some things about our lives as they exist now. I mean, let's save some time getting through the awkward 'getting to know one another' stage and be authentic. In my life right now...
1. I'm seriously contemplating the plan for the rest of my life. I've always assumed this to be a futile move on my part, because everytime I seem to get things straight in my head, your higher power of choice (for my purposes, I'll call her God) screws them up. I'm head over heels in love with Africa, and have unexplainably been so for years. I'm going this summer (Uganda is what they're telling me) and because I am graduating in three semesters, am thinking about getting a pilots license. I could fly rich safari goers all over the place a few months a year and save enough to sustain on an NGOs budget for the rest of the time. I think I'm in love with this plan.
2. Chatham is rocking my world. I'm a transfer, and came here with a purpose, and looked forward to coming back from break. I like what Chatham allows me to do - to become - but my family is pretty large and I am the first to leave, making it difficult to explain my reasons for branching beyond our Kansas town. I may have just said goodbye to my grandma for the last time (this is what folks tell me) and swallowing that is going to take some time.
3. I'm reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X right now. While I'm a large fan of nonfiction, I don't remember ever reading an autobiography before, and it is simply unlike anything I've ever read. I struggle every morning with being white, with having power I did not earn nor deserve, with cashing in on the mistreatment of others with skin of a different color. Malcolm is really putting these things into perspective. If you have yet to read it, do so. If you have, let's talk. I'm intrigued and only a little over halfway done.
Like I said before, I'm a big fan on honesty, and welcome more than anything in the world criticism, comments, and input on these blogs. While I doubt individuals beyond class will ever read such things, I think it's a great way to engage a discussion about potentially interesting topics. Viva la Discussion!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
